Vipassana: Tame the Monkey Mind

Being impulsive doesn’t always result in a bad decision. I set myself for 10 days of adventure called Vipassana, with a strong determination of not giving up in between, not for anything. I had read about Vipassana and always wanted to give it a try, just out of curiosity. As someone rightly said curiosity is the mother of all inventions. Vipassana helps you reinvent yourself; this technique penetrates through the deepest layers of your subconscious mind.

Vipassana means to see things as they really are. It’s an ancient meditation technique designed as a 10-day residential course with more than 10 hours of meditation every day, with breaks for food and rest in between. Daily sessions would conclude with a discourse by S.N. Goenka. The entire 10-days are designed through a very strict daily schedule starting from 4.30 am and concluding at 9 pm. Meals were simple and vegetarian and didn't include dinner. Yeah! you read it right.

Vipassana attempts to rid the mind of its impurities caused by ignorance, aversion and cravings. During the 10-days of meditation, one has to maintain “noble silence”, no communication of any kind (verbal/non-verbal/eye contact etc.) with anyone except for the teachers and servers. Vipassana is the mother of all meditation techniques and should not be taken lightly. It is the wackiest thing that I ever did voluntarily and is no less than a solitary-confinement. It challenges you mentally, emotionally and physically. One has to sit cross-legged on a meditation cushion for hours together and observe, initially the natural breath and then arising body sensations from head to toes and toes to head. Vipassana teaches that by being aware of our body sensations (perspiration, tingling, itching, pain, numbness, cold or hot etc.) and not reacting to them we can achieve the equanimity of mind. Well, easy said than done. 

As S.N. Goenka said “Know that all sensations, including the gross, intensified sensations will not last forever”, Vipassana teaches impermanence, the law of nature through experiential learning. Whatever arises in our mind is accompanied by sensation and by observing the arising and passing away of these sensations we can understand the law of impermanence and keep our mind equanimous. “Matter alone cannot feel anything if a mind is not present, e.g. in a dead body, there are no sensations. It is the mind that feels, but what it feels has an inseparable physical element”.

For me; each day was different and challenging in its own way. The first 3 days are dedicated for AANA-PANA meditation, during which one has to observe the normal breath. I felt very restless as millions of random thoughts distraught my monkey mind. The actual technique of Vipassana is introduced on the 4^th day and on day 5^th I learnt the beauty of “Adhishthan” (self-determination). Adhishthan is an hour long meditation session repeated thrice a day, wherein there would be no movement at all even if the body goes numb. I felt excruciating body pain as if sharp needles were piercing my body.

During the evening discourse of day 1, SN Goenka had declared day2 and day6 as the most challenging days of the 10-day course. On day 6, I broke down inside the Pagoda cell while meditating; I wanted to abort the idea of finishing the course. I desperately wanted to relieve myself from discomforting body pain, meditation of more than 10 hours, and unspoken thoughts. I somehow distanced myself from the thoughts of worldly pleasure and focussed on popcorn and tea that would get served for snacks. Morning tea during breakfast, evening snacks and evening discourse by SN Goenka were my pills of motivation. 

I was delighted on day 7 seeing how far I had come. Day 7 and 8, by all means, were the most productive day. There was a tinge of despair that the course would get over in a couple of days but at the same time, I was delighted with the thought of sharing my experience once out.

Day 9, my heart was filled with gratitude; I had more clarity about life and answers to my burning questions. My mind was calmer that before. I bothered less and smiled more. I had never been so happy in my life without any reason.

Day 10 was little different, we broke the noble silence after morning meditation at 10. All of a sudden, I could hear chitter-chatter, everybody was sharing their experiences, about the sensations that they felt etc. There was a grumpy old lady who questioned us, young girls, that what made us attend this course as we are so young. She was visibly disappointed because the course didn't have verses from Gita and Ramayana. As for me, I didn't feel like talking to anyone, silence was golden and I didn't want to invigorate my mind.

There are so many things to be told but there are a few which leaves an everlasting impression. During one of the discourses, SN Goenka had mentioned,a human mind is intelligent, you should not accept the things the way they are, it's absolutely okay to question or challenge anything you are not convinced of because that's how we learn and change not only ourselves but society as well. 

There is no harm in being an odd one out because there might be a bigger and better purpose which life will unfold at the right time. Vipassana not only taught me the art of taming my monkey mind but also to forgive myself. It’s easy to forgive others but not yourself.

I can only second all the wise people who claimed Vipassana to be a life changing experience. Go experience yourself and remember sometimes in life it's okay not to be okay.